Influencing and being influenced ... a way of experiencing lifeby the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru
Influencing and being influenced ... a way of experiencing lifeby the well known romanian author Adrian Dumitru
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I've wrote one time a book with the title "Influencing and being influenced" and it had quite a nice impact for an unknown writer as myself.
In fact ... i could not really understand why it run so, so good.
But meditating more and more... i've realised that the influences change many times the dynamic of our relationships.
... to all of them.
And ... in love stories too.
We like influencing .... but many times we dislike influences after we feel their impact.
Unfortunately or fortunately ... we live into a world of influences ... and no matter what ... we can't get rid of them.
Of course ... unless we actually disconnect from reality and live only and only into the love story.
... which is difficult.
Or .... even ... impossible.
But ... i actually know such an example.
... Tim.
You see ... my friend really spends all his time only with Emma.
Yes ... all the time i see them together ... and i can't really imagine what the hell they could possibly speak for so, so many hours ... everyday.
But ... the passing of time made me realise that Tim really drives crazy ... totally losing his minds when he sees Emma in the company of her friends.
Especially ... while seeing Briana around.
I was analysing and not really understood anything ... cause his girlfriend was only in the company of other women ... not men.
So ... all looked illogical.
That is why ... one day ... i've dare to ask Tim .... "Why do you lose the control on yourself so, so easily while you see her with Briana and other women?!
It all looks like a .... nonsense.
And it really seems to me that you are somehow .... jealous."
Tim ... smiled ... annoyed.
"It is not that i am jealous.
No...
I am not jealous.
But ... i hate those influences.
Those women around her ... especially Briana ... activate different other versions of Emma.
She becomes ... like them.
Then i need to work again with her ... and be my Emma.
And ... i had doing that.
I hate cause they reactivate different other versions from her past.
Cause ... yes ... Emma used to be like Emma and all the other women from her group."
But you see ... Influences exist ... everywhere into the world.
They are part of life.
Analysing deeper what Tim told me ... i had understood him.
They really had their own universe... and those influences were not having a good impact on the energy of their connection.
And ... this is what Tim hated.
Even ... if he looked ... absurd.
Of course ... like many others.
I trend to identify myself with Tim ... regarding the annoying impact of influences on beautiful relationships.
But ... we need to continue our lives.
Influences ... exist and it's very difficult to stop them.
We might succeed on short term ... but not so easy to always get rid of them.
I don't really see a ... solution.
It's also maybe a lot ... about the fear that those influences will change so much our partners ... that we will not be able to synchronise anymore.
And it's maybe ... natural to be ... afraid.
I've ended my discussion with Tim ... asking him to be more relaxed.
Also .... allow all to happen ... and not be scared anymore ...
But ... theory is so, so simple.
Download the book ”Mr & Mrs FREUD
in love ... but still playing psychological games -
philosophical essays” written by the romanian essayist Adrian Dumitru for FREE.
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